As we begin to read today's Gospel passage, we come upon this scene: Jesus is gone, and so the Apostles go back to a place of comfort, the only thing they knew before life with Christ (i.e. being fishermen). The Apostles feel lost without Christ. They don’t seem to be good even at fishing anymore​.

In this Gospel story, Jesus reveals himself to his closest friends. He continues to be with them and pursue them even after his death. When Peter realizes Jesus is there on the shore, he doesn’t hesitate and jumps wholeheartedly into the deep waters to pursue the Lord. Without Christ, we often feel lost and uncertain of where we are going in life or what we are good at. Without Christ, we often seek what we think we know and what seems comfortable, but pursuing Christ is far from comfortable. Christ wants more for us than comfort. He wants a relationship with us.

At first glance, based on Peter’s reaction to seeing Jesus on the shore, we might expect Peter to give a wholehearted “YES!” (seems like a no brainer…). The word Jesus uses for love is the Greek word agapao which describes total, unconditional, self-giving love, the kind of committed, sacrificial love that Jesus models. The kind of love with which Peter responds is phileo love - the love of friendship, tender but not all encompassing. Peter seems to feel only capable of imperfect, human love. Peter presents himself to Jesus as he really is - not an inflated view of himself previously or and ideal of who he would like to be someday, but the truth of his own fragility. Jesus does not back down and repeats his question. However, the third time Jesus changes the question. Jesus does not lower the standard of love, but he lowers himself to meet Peter where he is. Jesus asks Peter, “Do you love (phileo) me?” The Lord loves each one of us individually with agape love. Agape love is reckless and relentless in pursuit. Our love is imperfect and often weak, but the Lord still comes to meet us where we are at.

Jesus then foretells how Peter will one day live agape like He did. Peter will be changed, and his heart will be transformed. Peter will one day find himself crucified like Christ. The story of Peter’s transformation is the story God pursues in the hearts of all his disciples. Jesus wants to meet us where we are, as we are, with all our fears, wounds and sins, and transform our philia hearts into agape hearts. The Lord accepts our imperfect love and transforms it.

Do I love the Lord?

How does my love and my heart need to be transformed?

Where is the Lord meeting me?

"Here's my heart, Lord."

​"Transform my heart."

"I love you, Lord."

Allow Christ to meet you where you are today, in all your imperfections and brokenness, and allow Him to transform your heart.